It's times like these...

  that i ask God...

"WHY the heck 

couldn't I have

been asian?"

OK

I found a place where its OK to be alone (advice from the video below)

I really hope i'm not some sort of creep for hanging out here??! It was actually refreshing to be here letting the silence take over.

Reminded me what a 'blink' our lives really are.

We enter this world alone and we leave in the same way.

P.S- Didn't mean for this to be such a depressing post! haha.

Permission

In the snapshots of time, the fleeting glimpses between feeling confused, desperate, grief stricken and vulnerable I gave myself permission to feel other emotions.

I let myself feel inspired by what I saw through my lens.

I let my eye ravage the surroundings for beauty, for colour, for texture.

I let myself feel hungry to capture more.

Location one : Abandoned building near Mt Eden.

Location two: A certain door

How to be...

"Lonely is a freedom that breathes easy and weightless,

and lonely is healing

if you make it"

Photoshoot

Note to self...

50mm lens is not so good for self portraits. Hmm. Arms need to grow about another arms-length.

It is good for close ups, almost feels like a macro.

New Reality

This week has been foggy and misty. It has been rainy and grey. (Note: The weather has been pretty horrid too)

I miss the lanky arms of M11 wrapping around me whenever i walk in.

I miss the toothy grin and puppy dog eyes of M9.

I miss "miloooo" and stories with the tiny-big M.

I miss popping in for cuppas and chats. Staying for dinner and impromptu sleepovers.

The feeling of g2g's big mitt giving me a pat on the shoulder.

The knowing looks and understanding words that only come from a big sister.

Amongst all this missing, this inside-out feeling, this blinking-back-tears-in-front-of-the-indian-man-at the-video-store thing, I have a reminder pinned to my noticeboard;

'I'm hurt and in pain. Give me space for healing, and mountain air' (Psalm 69:29) 

Bring on that mountain air.